Ok. now before ANYONE thinks it was self-inflicted, let me explain…
I am now being forced to stop breastfeeding… in a little over a month I have had THREE, count them, THREE clogged ducts in my breasts… technically more than 3, but its happened three times… So now, I have to stop breastfeeding, because I am running too high of a risk of getting an infection in my boob(s) and making Jimmie sick… and lets face it, he has enough goddamned problems right now.
So, I had to go and buy some fucking poision.. er formula… for him…
Heres how I got burned…
We had planned on going to the movies with Shanna and Joe, kind of a get out of the house to avoid cleaning up all the damned mess (we were doing shit to it all friday and saturday)
Well, the plan was, go to the 5:20 showing of Bewitched (cute movie btw) we get back from wal mart and they are saying we are going to the 8pm showing instead, since they need to go to home depot or something like that. SO cool, I had time to mess with all this crap and get it set up and what not… the, few mintues later, Chris tells me that the 5pm showing is still on… well fuck, fine, so I rush to make Jimmie a bottle, not only to get it the water too hot, I let the fucking bottle cap when I started to swish it, cause I had Chris over my fucking shoulder telling me to hurry… so what happens? The god forsaken piece of shit bottle explodes on me… needless to say, I have some ugly looking burns on me… three on them on my stomach (pretty gnarly looking too) and several small one all up and down my arm.
Finally got over the pain, slathered some butter on the burns, remade the little shit’s bottle, and left.
I fucking hate the fact that my boobs are stupid and are about as clogged as my arteries… and now I cant breastfeed Jimmie like I wanted to… *sob*
*sigh* At least this will help him gain weight better, I hope… thats one of the big problems we were having, him gaining weight… and it wasnt that I didnt feed him, he ate every 2 hours… its all the damned meds they have him on. The doc told him that I might want to try giving him poision… *sigh* I hate it that he was right.
But anyway… Chris and I are doing better… there is SO much less stress between us now. I dont have to worry so much about things between us… god I hope this helps to fix our problems. At least some of them.
Poor Jimmie though… even diluted, the poision is upsetting his tummy… *sigh*
One thing though, I am not ashamed to say that forumla is poision… but formula, at least until he adjusts to it, will only make his spit up a little… if I get an infection I could do serious damage to him… I would rather let my milk dry up and give him forumla than run that risk.
If I am being safe, then why do I feel guilty about not breastfeeding him anymore?
