I Dont Know if I’m Ready…
But Jelly Bean has asked me to try my hand at comic work again.
I’m more than a little apprehensive about this, my recent work isnt up to par with what I was doing, and while most people dont notice the small imperfections. I do.
I notice my shakey ink-work, and less then perfect coloring skills.
Its all of those little things, and my own horribly shaken confidence that makes me a bit scared to work on the comic again.
What if it isnt as good, or the eye strain is too much.
My biggest worry is that I will become too frustrated with my sight to continue. And I know its a stupid worry, but its what I am dealing with. Its my sight, and if its ruined, what do I have left that is me?
I was an artist long before I was a mom, and I share being a parent with several people. Art was the only thing in my life that was solely mine, I didnt HAVE to share my work with anyone. It was mine.
Now, I dont know if I can keep doing it.
I am kinda stuck in this horrible cycle of self-doubt, and despite medication, it still affects me day-to-day.
just draw. do what you do. i still feel that sight or not your ability to create is art. now, if you lost both of your hands, it would be a bit more difficult perhaps but i know you could learn to paint with your feet.
Kitten, I don’t mean to minimize what’s going on, but, to my admittedly untrained eye, the pixie limes from the last post and the portfolio additions from the post before last look as good as anything I’ve seen from you. It’s fear of failure.
You can’t not do something just because you’re afraid. I’m scared every time I get on the witness stand. I was scared every time I had to square up against somebody drunker, bigger, and stronger than I was. I was scared when I had to ride a tank across a minefield that had already taken out the two tanks that tried it before us. I was scared when my doctor sent me to the cardiologist and he had me scheduled for an angiogram two weeks later. If I give in to the fear, though, I’ve lost a piece of my soul – the part that makes me, me.
Hang on to your soul, Kitten. Take the fear and KICK ITS ASS!